Mom Advice

The true story of a clumsy evil mommy

A lot of people have seen my social media posts about my foot and asked me what happened. It seemed easier to write it out only once. And since we all know I am an oversharer, I decided to put it on my blog. So here is an amusing tale about a very clumsy, evil mommy.

How did the clumsy Evil Mommy get hurt?

A couple of weeks ago, the recycling had piled up in the garage. I enlisted the help of my eldest son to get it into the bin and wheeled down to the curb. As I was taking the last bit to the trash can and my foot slipped in the mud. I hit the ground hard.

Picture yourself kneeling and then sitting down on your feet. That is exactly how I fell and I couldn’t move my left leg and foot without intense pain. It was twisted under me and my right leg was straight out in front of me.

How the clumsy evil mommy fell.
This is what it looked like when I fell, expect on the ground and with a lot of mud.

I immediately knew something was really wrong and I hollered for my son to go get his dad from the house. Totally embarrassing, but true, I sat in the mud, one shoe on and one shoe off because it had flown off my foot when I fell, surrounded by garbage, waiting for my husband to come help me up.

The first few days

The pain was so intense that it was making me nauseous. When my husband tried to help me up, I discovered that I couldn’t put any weight on that foot at all. He helped me into the house, I put my foot up, put ice on it and crossed my fingers that it would feel better in 20 minutes. It didn’t.

So off we went to the emergency room for x-rays and an exam. Thankfully, it wasn’t a busy night and we were in and out. The x-rays looked good so it was determined I had a sprained ankle and send home to rest. I spent the weekend in bed, with my foot and ankle wrapped in an ace bandage, faithfully putting ice on it once an hour.

The saga continues

After three days and no improvement, I decided to make an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. He declared it was a bad sprain and put me in a boot, which he described as a “removable cast”. I wasn’t happy about it, but it sure beats using crutches. I made a follow-up appointment for a week later and hobbled home.

As my fellow moms can attest, anything that makes it harder to get around or slows you down is a real pain in the butt. Boot or no boot, I still had three kids to take care of, plus the house, the errands, work . . . you get the picture.

Of course, since I had already proven to be ungraceful and a fall risk, the universe thought it would be funny to add snow to the mix. Over the next week, I learned to carefully navigate snow and ice as I adjusted to life with the heavy boot on my foot.

One week later

When I went back a week later, they did another round of x-rays to double check that there was no break. The doctor came in, said the x-rays looked good and did a physical exam of my foot. When he touched the top of my foot, I nearly jumped off the table!

The doctor turned to the medical assistant, said, “She needs an MRI. It’s a Lisfranc. Total non-weight bearing” and then he tried to walk out of the room.

“Woah, woah, woah,” I said. “Can you explain that to me please?”

With a sigh (side note – why do doctors think they can drop a bombshell and then just walk out???), he turned around and explained that he believes I have a somewhat rare ligament tear (called a Lisfranc tear) across the top of my foot. If I walk on it, there is the possibility of completely tearing the ligament. If that happens, I would need surgery to repair it.

“But I’ve been doing good in the boot! Can’t I keep using that?” I asked.

“Not unless you want surgery,” he replied. “Until we get the MRI results back, you need to be in the boot AND on crutches.”

What is the next step for the clumsy evil mommy?

A new accessory for the clumsy evil mommy
My new accessory

So here I sit, leg propped up, crutches by my side and I wait. I impatiently wait for the MRI and the results. I wait for the darn foot to miraculously heal itself. I’m putting so many positive beams of light and healing into the universe, I’m surprised my house isn’t glowing. Maybe the doctor got his medical degree online and is completely off base (fingers crossed). I’m asking for all the good vibes you can possibly send my way.

The best-case scenario is that the doctor was wrong. It could be just a regular sprain that will heal over time.

The worst-case scenario is that I have a Lisfrac complete ligament tear. This would mean surgery, 6-8 weeks of being on crutches, another 6-8 weeks in the boot and physical therapy.

The most likely scenario is somewhere between the two of them.

And yes, I have been excused from ever taking the trash out again.

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