It’s time for me to go public and tell. the world my secret. I have a favorite child.
No, this is not clickbait. I’m not trying to trick you and saying that I have a favorite when I only have one kid.
I am the lucky mom of three wonderful children, two boys and a girl. And while they all have amazing qualities, only one can be the favorite.
The good news is that all of my children are certain that they are the favorite. They take great joy in saying things to each other like, “This is why I am mom’s favorite.” or “You know you’re not the favorite, right?” It’s comical and sometimes accurate.
If I was a good mother (or at least trying to look like one) I would tell you that I like them all equally. But I don’t like them all exactly equal. I definitely like one more than the others.
Every mom has a favorite child
Can we be really brutally honest? I think that every mom has a favorite child. She might not admit it, because it is not the “good mom” thing to say, but it is true.
When you have your first child, you can’t possibly imagine ever loving another baby as much as your firstborn. And then your second child arrives and you realize that you don’t have to divide your love in half. Instead, it grows bigger to encompass the second child.
Have you ever seen the Grinch Who Stole Christmas? Remember how his heart grows three times bigger at the end? That’s exactly what it’s like every time you have another baby.
As their mom, you can love everyone. But there is a huge difference between loving and liking someone.
You can love someone and still not want to spend time with them. You can love them without liking them. And most days you LIKE one child better than the others.
Kids have a favorite parent too
Is it really so wrong for us to have a favorite child? I know my kids have a favorite parent and they are not afraid to admit it.
My husband is the fun one; the one they ask to go to sporting events and concerts.
I am the responsible one, the one they come to when they need comfort or help with homework.
Our kids love us both, but they have a favorite parent for certain things. And that’s ok because my husband and I are very different people. We both have strengths and flaws, which our supersmart children capitalize on frequently.
The kids love both of us, but on certain days, they LIKE one of us better than the other. Depending on their mood or the situation, they have a favorite parent.
Uniqueness is what makes people our favorite
And just like my children, I too have a favorite depending on what day, what I am doing or what type of mood I am in.
You see, my kids all have strengths and weaknesses too. They are distinct people with their own personalities. And I refuse to clump the three of them together and think of them collectively as “the children”.
When moms say we like all of our children equally, we are doing them a disservice. We are essentially saying that they are all the same. And by doing that, we are denying their uniqueness and individuality.
Think of the adults in your life. You might have someone who you go to for advice or mentorship. And someone else who is your shopping buddy. Maybe you have a foodie friend or an exercise pal. And we all need a mom friend who we can commiserate with over coffee or cocktails. You don’t rely on the same person to fulfill all of these roles.
The same is true for your children. They each have certain traits or skills that they excel at and are special to them. That is all why moms have a favorite and it changes often.
Who is my favorite child?
Like I said, it depends on the day. If I want to watch a scary movie or need help around the house, my oldest is my go to guy. For fashion advice and brutal honesty, I can count on my daughter. And when I need a cuddle and a good laugh, my youngest is always willing to oblige.
Conversely, there are days when it is obvious who is not my favorite. We can’t expect to get along perfectly with people all the time. Part of being unique individuals is having personalities that may clash sometimes.
I love them all, but there are moments when I like one of them better than the others. And I still think that is ok because it is human nature to feel closer to certain people at specific points in our lives.
I consider myself extraordinarily lucky to have three distinct people in my care. Each one of my children is a unique human being with their own thoughts and dreams. They all have opened my eyes to new perspectives and allowed me to see the world through their varying viewpoints.
All three of them have traits that I admire and certain qualities that I’m not fond of. And that, my friends, is life. Good and bad. Positive and negative. It all mixes together to form a unique individual.
Collectively, the three of them have made me a better woman and mother. And while I might like one of them better than the others, the love in my heart for them is limitless.
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