Mom Advice

How to Tell If You Are an Evil Mommy

How can you tell if you are evil mommy? Being an evil mommy isn’t about being mean or abusing your children; it’s about setting rules and enforcing them, guiding your children to do what’s right and always keeping in mind that one day, you will set them loose on society and have to hope that your hard work will pay off.

Some days (ok, most days), it is really tough to be a mom. You are trying your best to raise well-adjusted little humans and they are basically on a mission to destroy you. So how can you tell if you fall into the evil mommy category? Keep reading and see if the following twenty points fall in line with your parenting style.

You might be an evil mommy if your kids . . .

  1. Use the words please and thank you regularly. Bonus points if your kids use them in public too!
  2. Have a set bedtime and actually go to bed and STAY there.
  3. Have to go to school AND do homework. If you make them go to school on their birthday or when it is snowing outside, you are definitely an evil mommy!
  4. Know how to wash dishes, make a bed or do laundry. You can insert whatever household chore you like on this one. The point is that they do chores and know how to do them correctly.
  5. Have to spend their own money on things. “Oh, there is a new skin on Fortnite? Awesome! Hope you’ve been saving your pennies!”
  6. Have to write thank you cards, even for the gifts they didn’t like.
  7. Do yardwork, including shoveling snow and poop scooping. I promise, it builds character.
  8. Must honor their commitments. This means that when your little darling signs up for soccer, they actually have to go to the soccer games. They can’t quit three games in because they realized they hate running.
  9. Have to dress appropriately for their age and for the weather. Sounds easy, but try explaining to a 12-year-old why booty shorts are not appropriate for school. Or fighting with a 14-year-old about wearing a coat when it is 2 degrees outside.
  10. Have to bathe daily. With soap. Enough said.
  11. Can’t play video games all day, every day. Hey, I get it! Sometimes, you have to let them play video games so you can take a deep breath or pee by yourself, but you have to cut it off at some point.
  12. Have to help take care of the family pets. It doesn’t matter how old or smelly the pet is; the kids can help feed, bathe, walk or brush it.
  13. Have to finish their homework and/or chores before they can use electronics. You are truly evil if you take their phone while they are doing homework so they won’t be tempted to peek.
  14. Are forced to do things with the family, like movie night and playing boardgames.
  15. Have to apologize to each other when they are wrong. You can even make them hug it out once in a while.
  16. Are expected to behave in public. No fighting, no backtalk . . . you get the idea.
  17. Have to eat whatever you make for dinner or go hungry. I’m pretty sure there is scientific research to back up my theory that missing a meal will not kill them.
  18. Read regularly. Bonus points if you have fostered a love of reading in them!
  19. Keep their room clean. If the trail of ants is coming from your kid’s room, there might be a problem.
  20. Practice basic hygiene. Brushing teeth is not optional. 

Stand tall, be proud and continue being an evil mommy! One day, your children will thank you for it. For more Evil Mommy advice, check out this article too!

Other articles you might like

7 ways to be an evil mommy and raise awesome kids

How to keep your house clean when you have kids

Before you go

I would love to connect with a fellow evil mommy! Make sure you subscribe to The Evil Mommy newsletter so we can stay in touch. Simply enter your information below and you will be all set! You can also like the Facebook page and follow me on Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter for more snarky humor!

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20 ways to tell if you are an evil mommy
20 ways to tell if you are an evil mommy
20 ways to tell if you are an evil mommy
20 ways to tell if you are an evil mommy

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